Click click.....tap tap tap.
She stares at the ceiling, wondering how high up it is.
The clicking is interspersed with the sounds of laughter. Both of these things are entirely separate from her. So physically close but mentally miles apart. Emotionally in another galaxy.
She tips her head back and breathes in deep, smelling her rose scented soap, savoring it.
Why doesn't he savor it?
oh yes, the click click click, tap tap tap, and the laughter, it pulls him away.
She takes a deep drink of her wine, holds it in her mouth for too long, puffing out her cheeks and swishing it like mouthwash.
She leans her head back and stares at the ceiling, sighs.
Click click click, tap tap tap.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
The Blue Roses
What is happiness?
I'll tell you right now, I don't know what it is but I know what it isn't.
It isn't permanent.
It isn't the deep, musky, blue smell of him.
Well, you think that's what it is, anyways.
Until it isn't.
It isn't his hand softly, slowly reaching out to run his fingers down the very far side of your face. So softly you barely feel it. So softly you think you are imagining it until his hand quickly and heavily cups your soft, round, rose scented cheek.
I thought that could be it,
But it wasn't.
It isn't his words quietly whispering in your ear, telling you that you would be an amazing mother.
It couldn't be that, could it?
It isn't that deep, dark, glowing time of night when nothing can be wrong. The time of night when nothing exists except the goodness of you and him. Nothing is there except for that glowing perfection of what you feel.
That is not happiness.
Even though you think it is for the moment, allowing yourself to bask in the deep, blue, rose scented glow.
It is not happiness because you know it will end.
Maybe happiness is the moments you trick yourself into thinking it could be like this forever. Those perfect moments where you pretend it's right.
So perhaps happiness is pretending.
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