I am a person of substantial inner strength. I've always felt that situations affecting the emotions in others were sort of beneath me. Don't get me wrong, I am an extremely passionate person, full of love, kindness, anger, and all of those wonderful things that make life so beautifully colorful. What I mean is that I've always been able to withstand emotional trials much easier than most of those around me. At least, this is how I view it from my perspective. And perspective is such a flimsy thing.
Lately I've been wondering how such a thing could affect me so much. I don't feel the need to share this thing....but it is a thorn in my side. It actually pisses me off how much my heart is broken over it. I think possibly the reason I am so sad in my soul is because I've realized a form of cruelty and selfishness in a human being that I had not yet experienced. A betrayal of ideals I held dear to my heart and soul.
Possibly the reason my heart is so broken by it all is simply because, while I never held romantic ideals close to me, I may have had some sort of childish dream that most people truly were good and kind inside. It seems this unconscious thing I did not even know I so strongly believed in has been smashed to pieces.
Yet in the betrayal of all this I have found confirmation in what my rational mind has always told me, and that is a comfort. I suppose my rational mind was quite right, and those around us are quite unreliable and happiness is only truly found within ourselves.
Cheers to a lesson learned early in life.
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