My Doorbell- My Therapist's Pay Day.

The other day I was trying to take a 30 minute power nap after work, before I headed to class. When there's such a small window for a nap, every minute counts. So I was kind of pissed when my doorbell woke me up only 10 minutes into my nap. I decided not to answer it, but in the ensuing 5 minutes I imagined there was a psychotic robber at my front door who was going through the neighborhood pretending to be a carpet cleaner salesman, but really he was just robbing the houses where no one answered the door and murdering anyone he found inside.

Suffice to say I have a very active imagination and have read many Stephen King novels.


I dragged myself out of bed and went to the door. When I looked out the peephole no masked robber was waiting on the other side (it seems like my front door causes a lot of anxiety, right? Refer to my previous blog- "Trolls, Only Cute When They Have Little Jewels in Their Tummies").  I was not happy because my nap was now ruined, and with my 15 hour days, I need that freaking 30 minute power nap. The whole way to class I was thinking about what kind of sign to put on my door to keep people from EVER ringing the door bell.

Two days later I was home from an exhausting day at work. When I say exhausting day at work I really mean an exhausting day spent riding every roller coaster at six flags. I was just about to hop in the shower (cause riding roller coasters and eating onion rings makes a girl sweaty) when I heard the infernal door bell. I swear that little jerk is causing me to have some sort of anxiety disorder. This time I didn't hesitate, I quickly ran to the door. I peeped out the peephole and saw.........


Jehova's Witnesses. Or what appeared to be Jehova's Witnesses. Two young men in black slacks, white dress shirts, and black ties. I obviously realized the real reason they were at my door. To trick me into opening the front door so they could rush inside and rob me and possibly kill me.

Once again, suffice to say I grew up in a small town and I don't feel safe living in a big city.

The end of this story is very anti-climactic. I did not answer the door, and the "Jehova's Witnesses" just went away instead of breaking down the door like I assumed they would.

A while later I was telling my sister the story of these "Jehova's Witnesses" and she told me what I really needed to do was run outside naked with a shotgun every time a solicitor rang my doorbell. See her blog here to understand why she would suggest this solution- http://whatelainasays.blogspot.com/2013/02/dear-god-that-nudity-was-totally.html.  I thought about it and realized this might actually make matters worse if I took her advice so I'm looking for creative signs to post on my door to keep people away.

So who has an awesome, not stupid idea? Cause I don't want any stupid ideas people. No stupid ideas allowed. Only good ones. Seriously.

Post your ideas to my blog or my facebook. Thanks, have a good day, and don't run outside naked with a shotgun.

This is my actual doorbell. Every time someone rings it my therapist gets richer.